Welcome to Laina’s Collection!

It’s me, Laina, from over at The Silent Wave.  😉  Since I began my personal Asperger’s/autism journey, I have come across an entire galaxy of incredible writing from extremely talented Aspergian/autistic blog-writers.  This blog is intended to be a Gold/Platinum Collection of sorts, kind of like a Hall of Fame.

Continue reading Welcome to Laina’s Collection!

Relatability – Autistic Adults and Parents

An excellent and thoughtful analysis of the dynamic between non-autistic parents of autistic children, autistic parents, and autistic children. Fantastic (and successful) attempt to see all sides and break the situation down into its underlying elements 🙂 ❤

Mamautistic

It occurred to me the other day, that allistic (non-autistic) parents mostly focus their conversations on the things that they relate to. This is also true of Autistic adults. Most people seem to focus primarily on the things that they relate most easily to, and this is logical to me.

Allistic parents don’t relate to their children’s experiences, they relate to the experiences of other allistic parents of Autistic children. So that’s what they talk about with each other. They talk about how hard it is for them, how they feel about it, and how they can get their children to do what they want their children to do because that’s how they were raised and that’s what’s normal and expected of children in our society.

Autistic adults who aren’t parents and don’t work with children, don’t seem to relate to the allistic parents’ experience of and feelings about…

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Autistic Exhaustion

This describes so beautifully and succinctly just what I have felt all my life, but for most of it, never realized it. No further words needed… 😊

Autism and Expectations

Being autistic brings various challenges and joys with it. I adore my hyper-focus and passions, but I loathe the inevitable misunderstandings and sensory bombardments.

I am a carefully balanced human. I know that things that won’t be stressors to other people will be problematic for me. I know that spending time in a group will be exponentially more difficult than spending time with people one-on-one. I know that I will always have to ‘perform’ to some extent, when I’m communicating with most non-autistic people.

When I am home, with no pressures upon me, I am energised and busy. My whole life is made up of projects of different kinds. I will have various things on the go; spreadsheets, DIY, wine-making, crafting, poetry, prose, gardening, art.

The idea that I am lazy or inactive seems anathema to who I truly am, and yet this was a label that stuck to me…

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What’s right with this picture?

Yes, absolutely! The “modification” is only happening on the outside, and it’s actually incredibly traumatic to many people on the spectrum.

I CAN Be Autistic

Ha! One of my Autistic buddies brought this to my attention:

Behavior suppression is not behavior modification

As pretty much any Autistic person can tell you, the creators of this handy infographic are spot-on about this:

Behavior suppression is not behavior modification.

News flash for the ABA “practitioners” in the crowd.

Behavior suppression is notbehavior modification.

And, in fact, addressing root causes not only modify behavior, but they completely remove the need for the behavior, to begin with.

See, lots of the “unacceptable” behavior that Autistic folks exhibit is in response to stressors around us. Like, the whole world’s worth of stressors. We do what we do for a very good reason, but not many people seem the least bit interested in understanding why that is.

I’m tired, tonight. I’m tired of having to think about this stuff. But yeah, I do.

And that’s unfortunate.

Oh, well. Good night.

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Stress and Overwhelm

This really spoke to me – story of my life in recent months 😉

Living Autism

Many a calm river begins as a turbulent waterfall, yet none hurtles and foams all the way to the sea.” —Mikhail Lermontov

photography of barrel wave Photo by Emiliano Arano on Pexels.com

The dictionary defines stress as “a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances”, and for autistic individuals, stress is one of the greatest challenges to living life well.

Research shows autistic people have a higher stress-response and are more susceptible to stress disorders than their neurotypical counterparts.   A combination of childhood adversity and heightened sensitivity to emotions, hyperawareness of the environment, and interpersonal challenges with others create the space for stress to grow.

Autistics find it hard to “let go” of a stress-response; their bodies hold the stress-response longer, meaning that they need to be more mindful of stress-reduction activities, and become aware of how stress affects them.

Stress Response – What it can look…

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Aspie Xmas Survival Guide

Excellent tips here 🙂

Living Autism

candle celebration champagne christmas Photo by Pixabay

Ah, it is that time of year again: Christmas.  There is so much to enjoy about this festive period, yet – being autistic, it can also be hugely exhausting.

Managing your energy levels during this busy time can be a delicate balance act, however you can enjoy the celebrations and take care of yourself.

You can get involved and still honour yourself.  It’s just a case of being self-aware and giving yourself what you need.

If you find Christmas often leaves you tired and worrisome, this post will help ensure you do not end up running on empty.

1. It’s okay to say NO

Just because people are inviting you out does not mean you have to say yes.  Saying No is self-care. Make sure you build some breathing space into your calendar to allow some time to re-energise yourself. You can block out hours or…

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All I Want To Do Is Be More Like Me And Be Less Like You…

I’m cheering over here 😍 I second this 👏🏼

Discovering My Authentic Self

One of my favorite songs by Linkin Park was always Numb. Partly because it is yet another song that really helps me with my diagnoses, especially autism and when it comes to the ignorance of people or society. Here is a beautiful and very well done cover by MGK of Numb by Linkin Park. MGK is a rapper and when honestly the cover blew me away the first time I heard it as I have only heard him sing in few main chorus etc. Also the take and mood of the cover felt very different from him. I was impressed and am listening to it again. Think I will also go on a much needed Linkin Park binge today. 🙂 I have been listening to a lot of LP lately and not just because of the passing of Chester, but since a teen Linkin Park was always in my top…

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What is disability? Social vs Medical model

Applauding vigorously 👏👏🙌

Autistic and Cheerful

I touched on this very briefly in my podcast interview and in yesterday’s post about whether or not I’m disabled, but I’d like to go a bit more in depth because I think there’s a lot to explore about the nature of society and what a disability actual is. So, welcome to my entirely biased blog post about the social vs medical model of disability.

The medical model of disability is one that most people are familiar with. A disability is some sort of defect or impairment that stops someone from living a ‘normal’ life. An autistic person can’t socialise like a non-autistic person, therefore they have a disability. Get the idea? Right.

It’s all too easy to dehumanise a group if you are taught that they are less than you. They are a broken version of you. They live a tragic life and they need your pity. No…

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Sharing a Co-Morbidity Doesn’t Mean Autism Doesn’t Exist

A really enlightening and informative post! I really appreciate this 😊👏

An Intense World

No automatic alt text available.
My wife shared this image on Facebook. The things surrounding “autism” are all things that can be co-morbid with it. For example, I have general anxiety disorder–meaning I have anxiety all day every day–but I don’t have Tourette’s. Not everyone who has general anxiety disorder has autism, of course, but if you are autistic, you have general anxiety disorder. And not everyone with Tourette’s is autistic, but a higher percentage of autistics have Tourette’s.
 
There are those who think that having daily rituals is having OCD. Having rituals is not really quite OCD. Rituals are a way to create order in life, and is therefore something you will find autistics doing at much higher rates than, again, the non-autistic population. True OCD would involve someone who cannot leave a room without turning the light switch on and off exactly 15 times each time, or who gets “fascinated” by a…

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“Sensitivities”

Every word in this post is gold! 👏👏👏

Autistic Science Lady

Things neurotypicals (most of them anyway, hopefully, really) now understand are not a “choice” but are genetic:

Being gay/bisexual

Being transgender

Things neurotypicals (most of them anyway) now understand are different brain processes:

Being colorblind

Having synesthesia

(maybe?) having prospoagnosia

The thing I still don’t understand is why can non-autistic people not believe that loud sounds, or bright lights, or light touch, can literally cause us physical pain? 

I don’t understand why non-autistic people can listen to someone who had a concussion, or who just got their eyes dilated, and so are sensitive to bright lights, and respect, understand, and accommodate them. In those conditions, people usually understand and go “oh ok I’ll turn the lights down.” But if for some reason you just grow up with that sensitivity, that you’ve always had – somehow it’s impossible for them to understand that that could be your life ALL the…

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What is… vulnerability

This really hit home – an excellent post about a very common theme in my life 💕🌸

Mental Health @ Home

psychology word graphic in the shape of a brain

In this series, I dig a little deeper into the meaning of psychological terms.

This week’s term: vulnerability

Wikipedia has a couple of different pages related to this topic: one on social vulnerability, the other on cognitive vulnerability.  It says that the work vulnerable derives from the Latin word vulnerare, which means to be wounded.  The diathesis-stress model explains psychological disorders as resulting from a combination of predisposed vulnerability and external stressful experiences; protective factors help to mitigate this risk.

Cognitive vulnerability results from erroneous patterns of thinking, which makes people more vulnerable to certain psychological problems, such as mood disorders.  Insecure attachment and stressful events contribute to this process.

Social vulnerability refers to the inability to handle the external stressors that one is faced with.  Structural factors, including social inequalities and political factors, can play a role.   Entire communities may be vulnerable in what’s known as collective vulnerability,  “a…

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