How to walk the tightrope between social burnout and agonising isolation?

I struggle with this conundrum often. Very well said! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😊

Sensitivity is strength

I’ve been planning to write a post about solitude, loneliness and isolation for a while.

Is solitude good or bad? Everyone thinks it’s bad. And I’m crazy I got myself into it.

Then why the heck did I get myself into it?

Is hiding yourself away in the country for months without having a face-to-face conversation for weeks … or was that months, too? … healthy?

Today I saw one of my blog visitors wrote an article entitled Isolation & loneliness: which one is more damaging to your long-term health? … yesss … through no fault of the writer’s or article’s, that was just the last stab needed to turn that knife in my heart.

So I’ve decided to finally write it, even though I’m tired and exhausted.

.

Important: respect jazz standards.

If you can read while listening, find the most gorgeous background track for this piece below. Or…

View original post 1,594 more words

Jigsaw falling into place

This is exactly what I experienced! 😊👏🏼👏🏼. The same thought processes (and loops), the close-to-home checklists (so close, in fact, that my eyes teared up!), and soon, the writings of others on their blogs 💗💗. Brilliant post 👏🏼🙌🏼🌟

Borderline Aspie

I started this blog guided by a strong impulse a week or so after reading about female Asperger’s. I very recently stumbled upon female aspie checklists and other blogs. The experience turned my world upside down. For a while, my mind was on a loop. Could this really be? Is this it? Seems to be. I’m an aspie. But what if I’ve just been reading too much and I’m desperate about an answer regarding why I feel so different? What if I’m a fraud? If I’m not aspie, then how do I explain my mental state? Then I would quickly go over all the symptoms and experiences that match mine and conclude yes, I’m pretty sure I’m an aspie. 

Then I would eventually fall back into the same thought loop. And the more I read, the more I found that reminded me so much of this or that aspect of…

View original post 632 more words

Autism and toxic friendships and relationships

This is a really thought-provoking post. I can see so much of myself in it – not being able to identify toxic behavior and parasitic or detrimental relationships. I know some of the signs, but not all, and just because I know them doesn’t mean I’ll always recognize them in the moment. Thank you so much for writing this 😊

YennPurkis

This week I said goodbye to a friend I had known for a long time. I sent her a message explaining why I needed to distance myself and was blocking her. It was a very hard thing to do but it had become apparent that our relationship was not based on mutual respect and that she had become a toxic presence in my life. I did not do this lightly but it got to a point of no return. I won’t go into detail because this post isn’t really about my friendship. It is about understanding, identifying and managing toxic friendships and relationships for autistic people generally.

Autistic people can have significant challenges around managing toxic friendships. A friendship may start out toxic or become that way over time. For people who may be isolated and lonely, the offer of friendship can be a welcome thing and it may be…

View original post 951 more words

Embracing your autism (and what happens when you can’t find your tribe?)

Excellent article here! We can embrace our personal spots on the spectrum in any way we choose; the key is in the “embrace” part. I love this post 😁👏🏼💓

YennPurkis

I imagine that many of you will have heard this statement… ’Find your tribe!!’ This is a statement that autistic adults – and sometimes kids – are told. The Autistic ‘tribe’ or neurodivergent peer group is a place where you will be accepted. When you find your tribe your sense of autistic pride, self-esteem and value will increase. When you get embrace your autism your whole life will change and you will accept who you are and lots of other good things. Sounds like a very good thing, and this does seem to be what happens for many of us.

But what happens for people who do not ‘find their tribe’? What about people who are  autistic and for a variety of reasons they cannot accept it or be positive about it? What about when your memory of being ostracised and bullied makes you want to keep ‘acting’ and ‘masking’…

View original post 841 more words

Misfit King

Sublime writing; just so talented! AS poetry is where it’s at 😉😘💝☯️

Musings Of An Autistic Mind

Rejoice

And fall to your knees

Rejoice

Behold the slaying of the misfit king

I not only believe

I know nobody will remember me

The valleys cascade

And the mountains fold their peaks over me

The rivers cut off my escape

And the grass becomes blades under my feet

The world above I used to love

No longer reciprocates

Instead in demands a blood sacrifice

One I’m long overdue to pay

Rejoicing

I fall to my knees

Rejoicing

I give all that is left of me

Go ahead, tear me open

You’ll only find a heart surely broken

By man, woman, and mostly myself

I am my own stiffest critic

The cross I bear fashioned by my own hands

Go ahead, tear me open

But you’ll find I’ve already been raided

A dead casket with scenes of romance

No, riddles, as every girl has fooled me wrong

With looks…

View original post 23 more words

Friendship is Complicated

I could have written this post, except that it’s already been written here, much better than I could have 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💞☯️

autismthoughts

Friendship is complicated. There is so much more to relationships than what is on the surface. I have never had a close, lasting relationship with zero conflict. I think that surviving conflict is what builds relationships, but I do love the ease of my friendships that do not have conflict. They are simple, easy to understand, and take little work on my part, but these relationships are mostly superficial. You can spend time with a friend and have fun, but it is staying after the fun is over, when you are not feeling well or are going through difficulties, that friendship really starts to mean more.

I did not have many friends growing up. My first friendships as a young child did not survive their first conflict. I look back now and think of how I could have handled the situation better, how I could have salvaged my friendships, but…

View original post 407 more words

Being trapped in an autistic mind.

Although not written by an actually-AS person, I felt that this post was more than worth sharing. Here is a fantastic parent who’s helping to turn the tide in the right direction and amplify our voices, urging the world at large to look deeper and exercise compassion. Bravo! Awesome read 👍👍💜💙

lovepda

flat,1000x1000,075,f.u1

I was just thinking about autism in general and how we call it a spectrum. A range of traits that differ in severity. We picture the ‘severely autistic’ person who cannot communicate in the way the majority do. They cannot talk and are trapped behind sensory processing and brain processing impairments. There is a soul in the body, having an experience on Earth, but that soul is helpless to communicate what it is thinking inside. It is trapped.

Also on the spectrum, is a high functioning autistic human being. They can function in a world that is set up for neuro typical humans, but they have inner worlds that are rarely seen by those neuro typical people because again, the communication wires are not on the same frequency, so a lot goes un noticed or undervalued or unacepted. Lost in translation.

There is a wonderful writer whose blog I have…

View original post 705 more words

The Gift: LD/ADHD Reframed

This! “The right to learn differently should not be mediated by a diagnosis”. A delightfully thorough post that is worth every second of read-time 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Ryan Boren

This talk by Jonathan Mooney is social model music. I include it in my primer on the social model for minds and bodies. Mooney provides necessary insight into neurodivergent learners. Every minute is worth your time. I’ve pulled quotes from the talk below, as well as a handful of quotes from the introduction to his book Learning Outside The Lines: Two Ivy League Students With Learning Disabilities And ADHD Give You The Tools For Academic Success and Educational Revolution.

Mooney’s perspective offers many takeaways. Two critical ones for me are these rules of thumb.

  • agent > patient
  • identity > diagnosis

Challenge our definition of where disability lies.

We’ve built an entire edifice of intervention that’s about fixing people.

It’s not their minds or bodies that truly disable them. It’s how environment reacts to those differences. That’s where disability lies. Folks don’t have disability, they experience disability in…

View original post 1,986 more words