Performing Pain: Autism

This post resonates with me so much 😍  Spells out what goes through my mind, although much more clearly and eloquently than I ever could!  Love this 😁❤️

Autism and Expectations

I am not good at communicating my pain. It’s my greatest weakness. I am terrible at asking for help, I am terrible at reaching out to you, and I am worst at this when I’m distracted by physical discomfort.

I have often been told what a “coper” I am. How well I cope with stressful situations, how well I cope with shock and pain. Not because I am coping, but because I communicate these things differently.

What is pain? How do you quantify it? How do you get across just how much or how little you are in?

I am autistic, which means that I have a social communication condition, which means that I do not naturally or intuitively understand or (perhaps more importantly) perform social communication.

Most of the time I can do it all. I have learnt your ways, I may not understand why THIS QUESTION needs THIS…

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Concerning social anxiety and meltdowns…

This is one of the original posts on meltdowns I ever came across!  I helped me so much 👍🏼👍🏼😊💗

One Odd Duck

Recently, in an online group of adult aspies I belong to, meltdowns have been a topic of discussion. This is a very serious aspect of Asperger’s syndrome that can create tremendous social struggles. It is among the reasons some adult aspies fear to leave their homes. With the permission and encouragement of the other members of that group, I’m going to use some of the insights from that discussion, as well as my own experience, to help my readers understand meltdowns and how they relate to the social anxiety so many aspies experience.

I want to begin by defining what a meltdown is. According to Merriam-Webster, the definition that best fits what I am describing is “a breakdown of self-control (as from fatigue or overstimulation).” Notice that it does not reference autism or Asperger’s syndrome. I believe it is possible for anyone to experience a meltdown. As I told a…

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I am autism

Amazing post!  I found your blog through the great David Snape, and I’m really glad I did!  I’ve got to share this post; it’s too good not to! 😊😊

Pressed 📝Tes

You speak and everything is in slow motion.

Yet nothing sounds clear .Your words sound like a robot through my ear .

You send instruction and await my behavioral composure in favor of what you’ve asked .

And I fail Everytime because words hit my ear and enter my mind the unscramble is a task .

No I’m not disobedient !

Yes I hear you ! My ears are not deaf ! Don’t scream ! No loud noises no loud noise I rock back and forth.

My thoughts are constantly rearranging as they flow from your mouth to my ears .

But in conversation you await an answer never knowing my mind is unscrambling the puzzle of your words to find it’s proper context .

It’s too late they are all irritated with my pace

Stop it i am not demonstrating incompetence .

I plead for your patience

I can’t…

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The Aspie Survival Guide: How To Survive The Holidays

Excellent tips!! Perfect timing, too! 😉👍🏼👍🏼💓

The Asian Aspergirl

Ah, it’s that time of the year again. Time to go shopping for presents, attending family reunions, and reconnecting with old friends. The Christmas holidays, and any holiday in particular is something truly special. However, along  stuffed bellies and awesome parties come along with the stresses of the season as well, from picking outfits to gift shopping, to preparing and hosting parties. For those on the spectrum, and for Aspies, the holidays can be overwhelming at times, and are very tiring. This can bring about meltdowns, shutdowns, and uncomfortable situations. So, as I sat planning how I would survive the holidays (which technically started in October, for me), I decided to compile my very own list on how to survive the holidays.

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On Being an Autistic Father

This, so much!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼. Beautifully and eloquently expressed. Boom! 💜💙💚

A Flickering Life


This week a major boycott erupted over the book To Siri With Love, in which a mother notes that she plans to have her autistic son sterilized. The autistic community spoke out vehemently against the idea. We are, of course, anti-eugenics and this defines eugenics. But there’s a big reason that it outrages me and it’s in that picture up there.

My name is Austin Shinn and at the end of this month it will be 20 years since my diagnosis on the spectrum. At the end of this week it will be 18 months since that beautiful child Lola Faye Shinn entered my life. During the day, I am a full time caregiver to Lola. I am as much a father to Lola as a man can be and I am writing this to defend the idea of autistic parents.

To say the least, I am utterly in love…

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The Joy of Autistic Body Language

Beautiful post 🙂  Autistic body language may be different, but that just makes it more beautiful!  Never be ashamed by how you move ❤


While sitting at my child’s class, I sometimes can see into a different room. I often will pause in my writing or reading and watch what’s happening from all the way across the building.

I’m there because of my child. They decided this was their “must do” activity and we did everything in our power to make it happen.

But I’m drawn to watching that other room.

Sometimes, the other instruction room is full of people and other times it’s empty.

The people it contains are frequently different than the ones who were there before. Of course, I’m not sure how exactly I’d be able to tell if they were the same, not being able to recognize any of them anyhow.

But sometimes there’s a group of children in that room and that group has Autistic children mixed in. Maybe they’re all Autistic, but only some are openly and joyfully…

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But, you don’t look it!

Ok I just found this blog today, and it’s fabulous!  This post says it all 👏👏👏💟

The Uncultured Anthropologist

I don’t look like many things. I don’t look queer. I don’t look like I’m autistic. I don’t look like I struggle with depression and suicidal ideation – I don’t look like I have a chocolate addiction. I don’t look like I have social anxiety. Hell, I don’t even look like my name.

I get it. Words invoke ideas. The reality you see might not necessarily match the idea of that reality in your mind. Your idea of the idea I just told you is my reality!

I’ve spent several years trying to figure out what to say in response when I’m told I don’t look like something I identify as or with. Unfortunately, I figure out the right response about twenty-five hundred years after it’s appropriate to perform a mic-drop, so I’ll just gape at you and smile stupidly when you say I don’t look like the thing…

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